As the parent of two wonderful little boys motherhood has truly been my life’s greatest blessing and my two proudest accomplishments. Though that initial excitement and utter terror of pregnancy is beginning to fade some, there are a few facts that I have learned with experience. These facts, while a bit funny, short, and blunt, are truly heartfelt. I certainly will never forget them so I had to share.
Fact 1: If at first you don’t succeed try, try, again.
While this seems like a great motto, particularly if you’re trying to get pregnant, you do eventually reach a point when this motto should be retired.
In case you’re wondering, that point of no return is when you see two pink lines, a plus sign, or hear a urine soaked stick exclaim the words, “pregnant.”
Can you repeat that for me?
Stop.
Before you rush back out to the drugstore and waste any more money on one of every type of test the store carries you should simply stop. A pregnancy test is not like a CD of your favorite song that you need to endlessly keep replaying as it’s not like the words to the song are any more likely to change.
Save your money. Since a false negative is generally more likely than a false positive, and the tests are about 98 – 99% accurate these days, you and your baby will benefit much more from making an appointment with an OB/GYN.
Besides, you’ll have to take another test there too!
Fact 2: Bigger Isn’t Better, Smaller isn’t Braver
Women come in all shapes of sizes. When you’re pregnant – before, during, and after – you’ll continue to come in all shapes and sizes as will other parts of your bodies.
Don’t let your beautiful ballooning belly deflate your ego. Right now it probably definitely doesn’t seem like it, but there will come a time when you’ll miss being pregnant and feeling the wonder of life kicking around inside of you. Enjoy this time as much as you can.
If your breasts discover their own temporary “miracle bra,” go ahead and enjoy that too! Oh, to be able to go back in time and flaunt that in the high school gymnasium! No one would have dared said flat as a pancake then!
By the way, when the breastfeeding books explain how it’s more likely that your breasts will be smaller after breastfeeding…yeah, that’s true too. However, in the larger scheme of things, that’s a minimal sacrifice.
Fact 3: Trust your instincts.
As a new mom, expect to be literally bombarded with helpful advice, criticism, and well meaning instructions. Absorb it all like a sponge if you feel like it. Then, when everyone has gone away squeeze out that sponge and trust your instincts.
You know your baby and your body better than anyone else.
If there is a single fact that all expecting mothers should know it should be simply, “Trust your instincts.”
If you need to be reminded, keep repeating that to yourself over and over again until it begins to sink in.
Fact 4: Mommy is one of the greatest words in any language.
This is a tough fact to prove, but believe me when I say you’ll understand completely as soon as your child officially awards you that title.
Fact 5: If you think you’re done having babies, think long and hard before having a Tubal ligation.
I mention this here as many times it is stated to be more “convenient” for a woman to have a tubal ligation either right after or shortly after giving birth. Due to some complications after delivery, I did not have a tubal ligation until several months after my second child was born. However, I was assured repeatedly that this decision was the best and quickest route and I felt it was somewhat cavalierly regarded in terms of pain and being “no big deal.”
Tubal ligation was the correct decision for me, and it is not a decision I regret as far as not being able to have any more children. However, in all fairness to myself and mothers everywhere I feel it is necessary to admit several things, none of which in my research online about having a tubal ligation could I find anywhere.
When I woke up from this procedure I was in pain unlike any I had ever experienced before and it was nearly an hour and a half later until I was finally given something that alleviated the pain satisfactorily.
Every person experiences pain differently, and I know I’m no different. However, I gave birth naturally to two healthy boys, each of whom weighed almost 9 lbs. and it is my honest opinion that I naturally have a high tolerance to pain. I never cried out in pain or had an epidural during the birth of either of my sons.
That said, I met my match after the tubal ligation. I cried and I begged to be given something for the pain. After trying several pain pills unsuccessfully and making me wait thirty minutes for them to “kick in” and start working, it was the longest hour or so of my life.
To this day, it strikes me as so incredibly ironic that it hurt multiple times more not to have more children than it did to have them. I do not admit this to scare expecting mothers, but to caution them to educate themselves as much as possible.
Though I do not regret going through with the procedure, if I had to do it over again…
Ladies, I’d be telling my man to get over himself and step up to the plate. I’d stock the freezer full of frozen peas, and I wouldn’t give a damn about whether or not he was scared about his appendage not being able to regenerate like a starfish!
Disclaimer: My comments are from my own personal experience and do not necessarily reflect the experience of every individual. For additional advice always ask your doctor.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
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