Pregnancy Facts All Mothers Should Know

As the parent of two wonderful little boys motherhood has truly been my life’s greatest blessing and my two proudest accomplishments. Though that initial excitement and utter terror of pregnancy is beginning to fade some, there are a few facts that I have learned with experience. These facts, while a bit funny, short, and blunt, are truly heartfelt. I certainly will never forget them so I had to share.

Fact 1: If at first you don’t succeed try, try, again.

While this seems like a great motto, particularly if you’re trying to get pregnant, you do eventually reach a point when this motto should be retired.

In case you’re wondering, that point of no return is when you see two pink lines, a plus sign, or hear a urine soaked stick exclaim the words, “pregnant.”

Can you repeat that for me?

Stop.

Before you rush back out to the drugstore and waste any more money on one of every type of test the store carries you should simply stop. A pregnancy test is not like a CD of your favorite song that you need to endlessly keep replaying as it’s not like the words to the song are any more likely to change.

Save your money. Since a false negative is generally more likely than a false positive, and the tests are about 98 – 99% accurate these days, you and your baby will benefit much more from making an appointment with an OB/GYN.

Besides, you’ll have to take another test there too!

Fact 2: Bigger Isn’t Better, Smaller isn’t Braver

Women come in all shapes of sizes. When you’re pregnant – before, during, and after – you’ll continue to come in all shapes and sizes as will other parts of your bodies.

Don’t let your beautiful ballooning belly deflate your ego. Right now it probably definitely doesn’t seem like it, but there will come a time when you’ll miss being pregnant and feeling the wonder of life kicking around inside of you. Enjoy this time as much as you can.

If your breasts discover their own temporary “miracle bra,” go ahead and enjoy that too! Oh, to be able to go back in time and flaunt that in the high school gymnasium! No one would have dared said flat as a pancake then!

By the way, when the breastfeeding books explain how it’s more likely that your breasts will be smaller after breastfeeding…yeah, that’s true too. However, in the larger scheme of things, that’s a minimal sacrifice.

Fact 3: Trust your instincts.

As a new mom, expect to be literally bombarded with helpful advice, criticism, and well meaning instructions. Absorb it all like a sponge if you feel like it. Then, when everyone has gone away squeeze out that sponge and trust your instincts.

You know your baby and your body better than anyone else.

If there is a single fact that all expecting mothers should know it should be simply, “Trust your instincts.”

If you need to be reminded, keep repeating that to yourself over and over again until it begins to sink in.

Fact 4: Mommy is one of the greatest words in any language.

This is a tough fact to prove, but believe me when I say you’ll understand completely as soon as your child officially awards you that title.

Fact 5: If you think you’re done having babies, think long and hard before having a Tubal ligation.

I mention this here as many times it is stated to be more “convenient” for a woman to have a tubal ligation either right after or shortly after giving birth. Due to some complications after delivery, I did not have a tubal ligation until several months after my second child was born. However, I was assured repeatedly that this decision was the best and quickest route and I felt it was somewhat cavalierly regarded in terms of pain and being “no big deal.”

Tubal ligation was the correct decision for me, and it is not a decision I regret as far as not being able to have any more children. However, in all fairness to myself and mothers everywhere I feel it is necessary to admit several things, none of which in my research online about having a tubal ligation could I find anywhere.

When I woke up from this procedure I was in pain unlike any I had ever experienced before and it was nearly an hour and a half later until I was finally given something that alleviated the pain satisfactorily.

Every person experiences pain differently, and I know I’m no different. However, I gave birth naturally to two healthy boys, each of whom weighed almost 9 lbs. and it is my honest opinion that I naturally have a high tolerance to pain. I never cried out in pain or had an epidural during the birth of either of my sons.

That said, I met my match after the tubal ligation. I cried and I begged to be given something for the pain. After trying several pain pills unsuccessfully and making me wait thirty minutes for them to “kick in” and start working, it was the longest hour or so of my life.

To this day, it strikes me as so incredibly ironic that it hurt multiple times more not to have more children than it did to have them. I do not admit this to scare expecting mothers, but to caution them to educate themselves as much as possible.

Though I do not regret going through with the procedure, if I had to do it over again…

Ladies, I’d be telling my man to get over himself and step up to the plate. I’d stock the freezer full of frozen peas, and I wouldn’t give a damn about whether or not he was scared about his appendage not being able to regenerate like a starfish!


Disclaimer: My comments are from my own personal experience and do not necessarily reflect the experience of every individual. For additional advice always ask your doctor.

Breastfed Babies and Average Growth Charts

As a mother who successfully and exclusively breastfed two boys beyond the first twelve months of their little lives, I was confronted time after time by a well intentioned relative exclaiming, "It's no wonder that boy's so fat and round as you're feeding him all the time!"

This exclamation would ultimately be followed by the infamous question every breastfeeding mother learns to dread..."When are you gonna get that child off your breast and put a bottle in his mouth?"

From relatives, pediatricians, and complete strangers on the street, it seems everyone has the perfect advice to offer about your baby's appetite and breastfeeding habits! It can easily be more than a little overwhelming, particularly if you're up every 2-4 hours throughout the night for your little one's wonderful snacks!

For the first several months, both my boys gained weight satisfactorily though both were substantially "smaller" in terms of where the doctor expected them to be on the average growth chart. I even had one well meaning individual question as to whether or not I was trying to "starve" my child. Now, in case you're unfamiliar with breastfeeding, when you are absolutely certain that your wonderful little bundle of joy is enjoying more than sufficient boob tube time, then you really don't appreciate such a cruel accusation! Quite frankly, hormones and lack of sleep have NOTHING to do with that!

Yet, like every new mother experiences it is all too easy to let doubt creep into your mind a little bit at a time. I knew I was doing the best for my baby and I knew everything was ok. But, I still thought a little reassurance would be helpful, particularly since I didn't want to inadvertently deprive my little one of falling short on the percentile rating growth chart that my pediatrician seemed to regard a bit like an Olympic hopeful.

Then I came across an interesting article about breastfed babies and growth charts on kellymom.com - the link is here:
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/growth/growthcharts.html

The article explains in detail why breastfed babies may not necessarily fit the normal (outdated) growth charts that most pediatricians are using as points of reference. The information is enlightening and also encouraging. If you or another new breastfeeding mom is concerned with the weight of your baby, please give this section a thorough read. I found it incredibly helpful to print out the breastfed growth chart and plot my children's growth on this chart instead. I even took one in to show my doctor, pretty much to say, hmph, I'm not concerned anymore. My boys are perfect! (Just like their mother knows they have been from the start!)

Bitesize Chicken Nuggets

Little chicks do indeed grow very fast. Before you know it, they are already pecking away for their expectant meals. Cheep, cheep, cheep! Peck, peck, peck! They may be little, but little teeth hurt too! The rule in my henhouse, if you peck, you're done. It's not open for discussion. The first time I laid down chicken law, the little chick cried real tears. He hollered for a minute, stunned, that I had said no and taken away the chickenfeed. Then, after a few very difficult minutes, he calmed. I won't say there still aren't times when he pecks, particularly when he's teething, but I stick to chicken law. No pecking. No scratching. Or no chickenfeed. There are still a few tears from time to time, but we get along much better here in the chicken house, and the breast piece is no more for the wear.

Late Night Feedings

Every new mother braces herself for late night feedings. We expect them. We dread them. Night after night we somehow manage to pull ourselves out of bed and respond to the starving cries that invade our very short periods of restful slumber.

There are times when I would gladly trade anything I could think of for just one good night's sleep. Despite the incredible sleep deprivation and fatigue, these late night feedings have quickly become my most favorite time of day.

I sit in the rocking chair and cradle a small little person who is crying because he's hungry. He's screaming full steam ahead, yet his eyelids are squeezed shut and he doesn't even seem to be awake yet. His small mouth is moving ninety miles an hour as he snuggles up against my chest to nudge me closer to him faster. A few seconds later, he latches on and settles down instantly. The tension that had his legs and arms clenched just minutes prior, disappears and he relaxes into the nook of my arm.

I yawn and try to keep my eyes open, though I find myself struggling not to nod back to sleep too. I look down at his tiny warm body and notice how quiet and calm he looks. This is the only time of the day when he nurses without looking all around, kicking his legs, pulling at my shirt, tugging on my hair and my necklace, or struggling to get a better view of some other object that caught his attention.

This is our quiet time together. Just us.

As I rock steadily, I watch him. He nurses quietly. He finishes quickly. He unlatches his lips and lets out a very satisfied sigh. He tosses his little head backward and is already soundly sleeping.

Gently, I stand up and set him back down in his crib. I position his favorite blankie in his hand. Five tiny fingers fasten around the blankie as he snuggles the familiar fabric up against his cheek. A smile spreads across his face. I imagine he is off to dreamland somewhere very far away.

Dreamland. What a wonderful notion. I miss it.

Yet, for right now, the child of my dreams is more than worth a few dreamless nights.

The Real Chicken Dance

The real chicken dance is what a busy mother does all day long...run around like her head's cut off. Da, na, na-na, na-na, na...

Fried Chicken

It's after midnight and I'm completely fried. The henhouse never seems to close when you're breastfeeding. Yet, when the little chicks are finally asleep I do enjoy taking in a few moments of silence. I can hear them breathe. They're really cute. All snuggled up in their cozy nests. I find myself smiling, but not too big of a smile. I'll be up again LONG before the rooster crows. Yeah, but being a Mother Hen really is pretty great. Would you do me a favor? Remind me of that around 3:30 am and then again at 5 am.

The Breast Piece: Which Came First the Chicken or the Egg?

As I look down at my happily nursing son, I do indeed feel like a Mother Hen. I may never know which came first- the chicken, or the egg. However, in my crazy cooped up adventures in breastfeeding, there are times when I certainly feel like a fastfood drive-thru window ladling up a heaping serving of, well, me. Then, I pause and remind myself quietly that I'm giving my baby the Breast Piece!